I'd like to consider myself an expert on this ideology, as I am always trying new ways to perfect my family routine. The goal will always be to provide my kids with a childhood that is fulfilling, active, stimulating, and fun! I want them to be involved with peer activities. I want them to build relationships over shared interests; to develop a passion and a skill set that can potentially preoccupy their time as adolescents. So, how do I accomplish that without compromising our basic need to unwind? As for us, we don't. And before some of you gasp at our inability to sacrifice our week day evening's, let me explain.
The dream.
When babe #1 was in Kindergarten, I already had a game plan of what his extra curricular activities were going to be like. Simply put, I was going to sign him up for everything. Even if he had no idea what he was signed up for, this was going to be an adventure! He was going to be so happy to have me as a mom. I envisioned the whole thing. My child, the asthmatic, would check his soccer ball, smirk at me and his beaming dad by the dugout, as his toddler and infant brothers would wait patiently with pride. He'd make a 6 pointer, and we'd all cheer, "touch down!" It would be as if time just.. stood still. No rushing. Dinner would still be at the table. Homework, completed. Bed would be at the usual time. Per-fec-tion.It wasn't until after our first experience with after school activities, that I realized I was a complete idiot.
The reality.
Well, the reality for us was that it just wasn't realistic. Hubs and I already led a full schedule. We worked full time and maintained our home, full. time. If our children's ages didn't determine how tired they were, the overwhelm of the day would be the exhaust factor. Kindergarten took an absolute toll on our oldest. He caught RSV within the first 3 months and was hospitalized twice! Kindergarten extra curricular's should not have been in the cards for us that year- but we still gave it a whirl.
What happened you ask? I don't remember. I blocked it out. It was like a blur, and I only see shades of orange and blue.. I don't know why I see those colors, but my best explanation is that it was like fire, burning my sanity. So when the obligation ended, we took a pause.
The influence of mom friends.
After my children started making friends, some of those friendships paved the path for mom friends. Mom friends can be a great life line. If you're lucky, and have a diverse collection of them like I do, you will usually befriend a mom who always knows what is going on in the community. (I'm not that mom.) They will be the one who asks if you're signing up your kid for x,y,z. Hi, girl! Then you have the mom friend who actually coaches x,y,z. She's a rock star. I can barely manage my 3 kids, but this MOM takes it upon herself to mother her children and coach everyone else's. (I am also not that mom.) There will be friend's who sign their kids up just because yours are signed up (straight fear of missing out). And the friends who mother a child who have discovered an interest early, and those moms are nurturing it. Awesome! Way to go, all of you participating moms.But alas, who is that mystic creature of a mother standing way in the back?
Is she strolling? How does she have time for that?? Is she basking in the company of her family after a long day apart- without rush, without additional commitments?
Yes, my friends. And that mom unicorn? She's me.
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