Oh, stop it. I know someone is out there who is dying to rip through this post, just so they can gain enough details to rip through me. So let me begin by saying, I am not this Mom. I have zero first hand experience as a MLM distributor, nor do I have any scientific evidence/ survey to cite. So put your hand down. That goes for MLM "Mary," over there, too. I haven't really thought where this post could lead, so it's fair to say that this title could be super deceiving. Maybe.
Okay. Starting from the beginning.
It's morning. I find my way to the coffee pot. I pour the bliss right out of it. I turn to my phone to check if it's a snow delay. It's definitely Spring... but I have to get 3 kids ready for school. (A girl can dream.) Had anyone texted me overnight? Any emergencies to be aware of? What about work emails- did anyone have a random idea that needed immediate attention? No- none of these things. But you know what I have many notifications for, ranging from all times of the evening into early morning hours? MLM products that I quote "you cannot live without."
(Pause: ...To be fair, there are some MLM products that I really choose not to live without.)
I have to be honest- I don't open these notifications. Some of them being from very dear friends, whom I support, and would LOVE to see succeed! But I just woke up from a broken 8 hour sleep. I accomplished nothing except for keeping my kids in their own beds last night. This is all I did. That's it. Which brings me to my first point.
MLM mom's either don't sleep OR they schedule social media post's for 2am SAYING that they can't sleep because they're so excited about all the hot deals.
Either way, working pretty fucking hard as far as I'm concerned.I continue my day by getting my kids ready for school. MLM mom's do this too.
I work from home, it's pretty damn sweet. I don't ever have to be socially ready. Some MLM mom's also work from home. Some work their MLM business in addition to a regular paying job. But I'll tell you one thing I've come to know about MLMpreneuers. They are always ready, come what fckin may. Whether in the workplace or in their Pinterest inspired home office- Game face is on. They might even tell you that they're a mess, but it's never true! They spent time on themselves in some shape or form. I swear that their messy buns are strategically maintained which has to add at least another 15 minutes onto their morning. 15 minutes I simply do not have.
Fact: The messy bun meme was definitely invented to give visual representation of the difference between a MLM mom and a regular AF mom. (me.)
I am not fooled by all of your extra, Karen.
How about the weight loss MLM moms? These bitches are like mega busy, and losing another 3 pounds every week! How are you still alive?? Oh, and hello, makeup MLM moms.. seriously. How do you find time to apply makeup every single day? Your daily makeup face is like my wedding makeup goals. Really setting the bar here and my husband is going to start to have expectations.
Don't even get me started on the Pure Romance mom's who's sex lives are obviously a 12 out of 10. They probably have to have sex 14 times a week to test all of their products. Because, you know, who doesn't have a ton of extra time for that?
There is only one explanation for this and it is that MLM mom's are the God's of priority.
While most regular mom's have a hard time juggling the everyday responsibilities, MLM mom's work from a list where they cross things off every time they accomplish something. It's usually 28 tasks long. I know this because some will tell you about it on social media. They may even snap a picture of their list as proof of their efficiency.List example: Live, Laugh, Love, Feed children, FaceBook Live, research the latest trends, scope out what up line is doing, clean house, have a great relationship with partner, talk about it on social, take well placed photo's of products, share inspirational stories about other MLM people, (their killin it, they're so rich and cool!), play with children, get everyone ready for bed, stay up until 2am, sleep.
Those kinds of lists.
It also amazes me how MLM Queen's are able to get everything done that regular mom's do, but also spend so much time online! How often do you see these wonderful creatures without their phone? Better yet! I see so many of them post pictures taken by their phone with a laptop open in the background and a tablet on their laps. Meanwhile, here I am, typing this as I sit on the floor with my desktop.. which is also on the floor.
In closing, if you are a MLM mom or not, do not take any of these words seriously. I know nothing. Truth is, I had an extra 20 minutes on my hands to spew my thoughts instead of doing the dishes. Now, if I were a MLM mom, I'd have my shit together... but that's just my opinion.
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