Happy National Dog Mom's Day, literally. To our Remi.

I am a dog mom. In the 'I have huge feelings and am ultimately responsible for the wellbeing of 2 Cane Corso Mastiffs' sense. They are my (other) babies! But once upon a time, they had babies of their own. Ten of them. And so, in recognition of the glorious holiday known as National Dog Mom's Day, I would like to honor my Dog baes, tell you about my experience as a temporary Grandma, and how it all came to be.

Capone and Remi did not have a planned mating. Their mating was strictly primal. We did not want puppies, but also did not take the necessary measures to avoid it. Keeping dogs separated while a female is in heat is not foolproof! Capone, especially, is no fool. It was during this time that he learned to open doors (and it's since been his favorite thing to do!) 

In my 36 years of life, I did not know the process of dogs having a successful mating. So when I found my dogs stuck together (tied, being the technical term), I did what any normal, unknowing human would do- I cried. After struggling with my pets to get un-stuck, unsuccessfully, I belly crawled up the stairs, and called our local vet for immediate emergency assistance. After repeatedly asking me to calm down so he could understand me through my sobs, it was explained to me that I've been in the dark my whole life- that this is natural, that we have a 98% chance of having puppies.. and that it's my fault.

A Facebook Group That Is Better Than Your Best Friend.

 

There are several things on this earth that bring me joy. A short list: my family, my friends, weddings, every shade of green, buffalo chicken quesadillas, Bravo reality TV, Game of Thrones, and the band of Khaleesi's that rally in support of Stassi Schroeder.

For those of you who don't speak pop culture, I'll break it down for you real quick. Stassi Schroeder is a New York Times bestselling author. She hosts an insanely popular podcast, Straight Up With Stassi, and graces Vanderpump Rules (a hit reality TV show) with her Queenesque vibes every year since 2013, (even season 4). Khaleesi, a Game of Thrones reference, represents a Facebook group of approximately 10,000 people who value her relatable anecdotes and unapologetic appreciation for basic tendencies. I am one of the 10,000. We're a gang. Not quite a cult, but there has been some discussion.. (Kind of an inside joke, yah know.. like besties have.)

I digress.

Being that I am a mom (with absolute, self-diagnosed social anxiety), I have to be very picky about what I offer my time to because MY time is limited. Not in the sense that spans a lifetime, but more like, I'm busy doing laundry and unless we make plans 3 months ahead, I probably don't have room in my non-existent calendar for it. Plus, we both know that as our plans are approaching, I will have the flu. It happens every time. But guess what?

A Mom's guide to Self-Care.

It was practically one year ago when I announced to my social media friends and family, that motherhood had distracted me from (my definition of) self-care. I was asking for support and ultimately- I felt that accountability partners would accelerate the motivation I needed to accomplish certain goals. Surprise, surprise- I was not alone.

In a short 24 hours, we had established a group of over 100 women, who all shared the same struggles. We were busy, we were tired, and we were in the habit of casting our basic desires to the wayside. Our intent was to empower each other! What do you want for yourself? Which activities are worth carving some time out for? In unison-

"I want to lose weight," "I need to find a diet that works- so I can lose weight," "I need to stick to an exercise routine- so I can lose weight."

Of course, there were other ambitions we were attempting at; putting laundry away after we wash it was a popular one. Wearing jeans instead of leggings on weekdays seemed easy enough. DRINK MORE WATER, a total crowd favorite. But at the end of the day, I still found myself falling short emotionally. I didn't want to admit it, but I was failing to meet my expectations. Even when on track with certain goals, I didn't FEEL better. I felt exactly the same- busy and tired.

So, the group? It fizzled.

And me? I was at square one.

Anti-Vaxx Mom's will eat you for breakfast. And like it.

If you're looking for a juicy anti-vaxx/ pro-vaxxer debate, this is not the time nor place. Because there is a larger issue at hand. And that is whether or not an Anti-Vaxx mom has chewed you to pieces, and spit you and your whole family out for not agreeing with their vaccination logic. This is basically like a support group post. I see you. I hear you. And you are not alone.

My journey started 9 years ago when I had my first child- a beautiful, healthy, alert baby boy. Vaccination talk was minimal at that time (in comparison). There were theories, but labels weren't applied, as far as I can remember. It was a time when you were free to hear a medically licensed Doctor's perspective on the importance of vaccinations. You could also get a thousand, million other professional opinions that mirrored the same stance. I know, I know- they were all doing it for the money, those selfish, life-saving pricks. But, at the time.. Life. Was. Bliss.

Fast forward a few years, and 2 kids later- and the topic of vaccination had exploded. By baby #3, I had seen SO MANY mom opinions and blog posts justifying theories of vaccination threat, that...

(PAUSE! Let me repeat that last statement. So many MOM OPINIONS AND BLOG POSTS, that... Are we really taking this seriously? ...SMFDH. That's the acronym I invented for how dumb this all sounds.)

We abstain from after school activities. For now.

I'd like to consider myself an expert on this ideology, as I am always trying new ways to perfect my family routine. The goal will always be to provide my kids with a childhood that is fulfilling, active, stimulating, and fun! I want them to be involved with peer activities. I want them to build relationships over shared interests; to develop a passion and a skill set that can potentially preoccupy their time as adolescents. So, how do I accomplish that without compromising our basic need to unwind? As for us, we don't. And before some of you gasp at our inability to sacrifice our week day evening's, let me explain.

The dream.

When babe #1 was in Kindergarten, I already had a game plan of what his extra curricular activities were going to be like. Simply put, I was going to sign him up for everything. Even if he had no idea what he was signed up for, this was going to be an adventure! He was going to be so happy to have me as a mom. I envisioned the whole thing. My child, the asthmatic, would check his soccer ball, smirk at me and his beaming dad by the dugout, as his toddler and infant brothers would wait patiently with pride. He'd make a 6 pointer, and we'd all cheer, "touch down!" It would be as if time just.. stood still. No rushing. Dinner would still be at the table. Homework, completed. Bed would be at the usual time. Per-fec-tion. 

It wasn't until after our first experience with after school activities, that I realized I was a complete idiot.

The reality.

Well, the reality for us was that it just wasn't realistic. Hubs and I already led a full schedule. We worked full time and maintained our home, full. time. If our children's ages didn't determine how tired they were, the overwhelm of the day would be the exhaust factor. Kindergarten took an absolute toll on our oldest. He caught RSV within the first 3 months and was hospitalized twice! Kindergarten extra curricular's should not have been in the cards for us that year- but we still gave it a whirl.

What happened you ask? I don't remember. I blocked it out. It was like a blur, and I only see shades of orange and blue.. I don't know why I see those colors, but my best explanation is that it was like fire, burning my sanity. So when the obligation ended, we took a pause.

MLM moms are the hardest working people. Ever.

Oh, stop it. I know someone is out there who is dying to rip through this post, just so they can gain enough details to rip through me. So let me begin by saying, I am not this Mom. I have zero first hand experience as a MLM distributor, nor do I have any scientific evidence/ survey to cite. So put your hand down. That goes for MLM "Mary," over there, too. I haven't really thought where this post could lead, so it's fair to say that this title could be super deceiving. Maybe.

Okay. Starting from the beginning.
It's morning. I find my way to the coffee pot. I pour the bliss right out of it. I turn to my phone to check if it's a snow delay. It's definitely Spring... but I have to get 3 kids ready for school. (A girl can dream.) Had anyone texted me overnight? Any emergencies to be aware of? What about work emails- did anyone have a random idea that needed immediate attention? No- none of these things. But you know what I have many notifications for, ranging from all times of the evening into early morning hours? MLM products that I quote "you cannot live without."
(Pause: ...To be fair, there are some MLM products that I really choose not to live without.)

I have to be honest- I don't open these notifications. Some of them being from very dear friends, whom I support, and would LOVE to see succeed! But I just woke up from a broken 8 hour sleep. I accomplished nothing except for keeping my kids in their own beds last night. This is all I did. That's it. Which brings me to my first point.

MLM mom's either don't sleep OR they schedule social media post's for 2am SAYING that they can't sleep because they're so excited about all the hot deals.